


In Utero

by undasrego



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Georges thinks diogenes is weird, John and Alex as parents, M/M, No Smut, Philip is the true mvp, Phillip and Georges are jocks, Phillip can and will wrestle plato, Short Story, Theo is a bad bitch, georges is sweet but also really likes Plato so it's hard for Phillip to love him, hamilkids in high school, hidden pregnancy, phillip theo and georges, pining between phillip and georges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:53:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undasrego/pseuds/undasrego
Summary: Theo Burr Jr. asks the unthinkable when she asks her best friends to help her hide her pregnancy from the world, and more importantly, her parents. Just seniors in high school, Theo, Phillip, and Georges try to navigate a world mixed with fall finals, graduation prep, and a pregnancy that no one knows enough about.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Georges Washington de La Fayette/Philip Hamilton (1782-1801)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	1. Plato's Man

**Author's Note:**

> Who has two thumbs and compulsively writes in his free time? This guy!

“All I’m saying is that Plato wasn’t wrong!” Georges gasped.

“But he wasn’t right either!” Phillip argued. “A featherless biped! There are so many things that fall into the category. Cats with no front legs, a folding chair, a plucked chicken!”

“Yeah, if you’re stupid enough to take it  _ that  _ literally!”

“Are you calling Diogenes stupid?” 

“Dude lived in a barrel!”

“Dude unlocked the secret to a happy life!”

“Dude was constantly insulting people and roasting them!”

“Happy life!” Phillip rolled his eyes. “Alexander The Great was overrated anyway!”

“He was tutored by Aristotle!”

“So was Plato and that dude was fuckin’ ridiculous! Featherless biped. I’d kick Plato’s ass!”

“So many things are wrong with what you just said. First of all, it was the other way around, Plato tutored Aristotle, and second of all, Plato won the Olympics in wrestling like, seven years in a row. He’d crush you!”

Phillip shook his head. “Dude lived off of olive oil and anal sex.”

“That’s not even close to being correct, Phillip.” Georges looked at his friend. “You know this, right?”

Phillip pushed Georges back onto the grass they were sitting on and the two began to wrestle. If any other students were seen like this, teachers would probably have gotten involved, but Georges and Phillip had been wrestling with each other since Freshman year when they got into an argument about whether or not Juliet and Romeo were actually in love. 

Anyone who knew them though knew that they loved each other, that they were best friends. None of their arguments were ever meant viciously, and their fighting never went too far. It was what they did together, and it was damn entertaining to anyone around.

“Say it! Say a man is not just a featherless biped!” Phillip commended, pinning Georges to the ground.

“Never, bitch!” Georges kneed Phillip in the side hard enough to knock him off of him. “All I know is that I know nothing!”

“Damn right you know nothing!” 

“Would you both shut up?” Theo gasped.

“One second, Theo, I’m winning this.” Phillip tried to squirm out of Georges’ intense grip, groaning angrily. 

“You sir, have been defeated by a featherless biped!” Georges announced.

“I’m gonna make you a no-ped!” Phillip threatened.

Georges planted a big wet kiss on Phillip’s cheek. “That’s the power of Plato, mother fucker.”

“Both of you!” Theo gasped, groaning angrily.

“Damn, girl, what’s up your ass?” Georges got off of Phillip, opening up his water bottle. “You alright?”

Theo rolled her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Theo?” Phillip asked, scooting closer to her. “You want my Cheetos?”

“I’m fine,” she mumbled.

“Cheetos and sandwich?”

Theo shot a glare in Phillip’s direction.

“Well, then break a tie. Plato or Diogenes?”

“Democritus,” she answered.

“Ugh.” Phillip fell back. “That means Georges wins because he beat me.” He pushed himself up on his elbows, looking at his friend. “I’m still right.”

“Whatever you say.” Georges smiled.

“I gotta tell you guys something,” Theo muttered quietly. 

“What is it?” Phillip asked.

“Is it that you agree with me and Phillip is wrong and also I’m the sexiest person in the world and superior?”

Theo gave Georges a look. “Shut up.”

“Alright, what is it? What’s the issue?” Georges asked. “Who do we need to beat up?”

Theo let out a long, exasperated sigh. “Can you guys be serious for two seconds?”

“Maybe.” Phillip smiled. “Come on, Theo, what is it?”

“Look, you have to promise not to tell  _ anyone _ , okay? No one. Not your parents, not your friend, no one. This stays between us.”

Phillip raised his eyebrows. “Uh, alright.”

“Come on, what is it?”

Theo looked around, then leaned in closer, gritting her teeth. “I’m pregnant.”

Georges opened his mouth, then closed it. “What?”

Theo sighed. “Look, you cannot tell anyone. No one.”

“Wait, wait, do your parents know?”

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“I took a test.”

“Just one?”

“Five.”

Phillip let out a breath. “Do you know how far along?”

“No idea.”

“You must not be that far along. I mean, you’re like…” Georges searched for the words. “You aren’t fat or anything.”

Theo huffed. “Look, because I’m eighteen, I can get my own doctor’s appointments and stuff like that, but I need your help, alright? I can’t do this alone.”

“Are you going to tell your parents?”

“No, not at all.”

“Well shit, Theo. There’s only gonna be so long you can hide this pregnancy. What are you gonna do? Safe drop it?”

“Don’t call my baby an it.” Theo shook her head. “I don’t know. I mean, I just… I don’t know. You promise you’re not going to tell anyone though, right?”

“I dunno Theo. This doesn’t seem like a great idea. I mean, you should tell your parents.”

“Why? Just so I can be a fucking disappointment? They don’t even know I have sex.”

“Oh, yeah, who is the Daddy?” Georges asked.

“No idea.”

“No idea?” Phillip gasped.

“You know I have a rotation. There’s like six different dudes who this could belong too! And what? I’m gonna get child support from a fuckin’ high school senior? Fuck that. I don’t even want them close to my baby.”

Georges let out a long sigh. “I mean, what are you going to do? You can’t hide this forever.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“It might be best to just tell your parents.”

“Suggest that again and I’ll kick your ass, Phillip.” Theo took a sip of her water. “Look, I just, I need your help. I can’t do this alone. Please.”

Phillip shifted. “I don’t like this, Theo. I mean, if it was like, a secret boyfriend or a dent in your dad’s car or something… but this is… this is a whole human baby. Like, a whole human. A living thing. Are you even gonna go to the doctor?”

“I have an appointment this week.” Theo looked around as the lunch bell rang. “Look, I can’t be late to econ again or I’m gonna get detention. I gotta go. Don’t tell anyone, or I’ll kill you, alright? You promise?”

Both Phillip and Georges didn’t like the idea of promising that, but they did, regardless. Theo ran off to econ while Phillip and Georges took their time going to gym, since the gym teacher liked them and would never mark them tardy.

“Should we tell her parents?” Phillip asked Georges.

“We promised we wouldn’t.”

“Okay, whatever, but should we tell her parents?” Phillip looked at his friend. “This isn’t like the time Theo got chlamydia in sophomore year and we had to help her get an appointment at Planned Parenthood. This is… Georges I mean, someone could get hurt.  _ Theo  _ could get hurt.”

“Look, I think we should go to the doctor’s with her, see if she even is pregnant.”

“She took five tests.”

“Those tests can be wrong, Phillip.” Georges sighed. “I don’t like it either, I really don’t, but she just… I mean, she is an adult, legally, and she has a right to privacy.”

Phillip groaned. “But this is different. I mean, she’s in her senior year of high school. She’s gonna be going into labor during finals or some shit like that.”

“Look, we really don’t know anything about it. Let’s go to the doctor with her, find out stuff for sure, alright? We gotta… I mean, Phillip, we can’t just blindside her, she’s our friend, and also an adult. Like I said, she has a right to privacy.”

Phillip swallowed hard. “I don’t like this, Georges.”

“Look, if she starts to lose it, or like, shit starts to get worse, I will be right there with you, telling her parents, but if she’s not in trouble, and her baby isn’t in trouble, she has the right not to tell them.”

“We are seniors in high school, what do we know about pregnancy?” Phillip huffed. 

“Nothing,” Georges admitted. “Just, let’s just be there for her, alright?”

Phillip let out a groan but nodded his head. “Alright.”


	2. Mann's Novella

“He specifically states in the book that it’s a paternal instinct!” Georges yelled.

“In the same way Humbert felt paternal instincts for Lolita maybe!” Phillip groaned. “You can’t seriously think that Gustav was just like… I mean he was  _ following  _ Tadzio, stalking him! The whole book was about him obsessing over Tadzio’s beauty!”

“Tadzio was more a muse than a romantic interest,” Georges argued. “Gustav would’ve never made a move!”

“Bullshit! Bullshit. No, I’m sorry, there’s no way that it wasn’t pure sexual interest.” Phillip put his hands together, looking at Georges, who was driving the car. “This elderly man went to Venice in a time of writer's block and became obsessed with a boy to a point that it caused his death.”

“The sickness caused his death!”

“The sickness was a metaphor for the obsession!”

“Then why was everyone in Italy getting it?”

Phillip tugged at his hair. “It’s not about an epidemic in Venice! It’s a metaphor for death closing in on him as his obsession for Tadzio grows!”

“No, here’s the thing, I will agree that he did have an obsession with Tadzio, but it wasn’t sexual. He never said anything sexual. He never even spoke romantically of the boy.”

“He was obsessed with the boy's beauty!”

“In the same way an artist would be obsessed with their muse!” Georges pulled into a stoplight and turned directly to Phillip. “Gustav was an artist, coming to the end of his life, of course, he latches onto the first beautiful youth he sees! It’s not about his sexual urges, it’s about his yearning for youth again!”

“Then why obsess over just Tadzio? Why not every other youth he sees?”

“Because Tadzio is his muse!”

“No! He wanted to fuck Tadzio!”

“He never even touched him!”

“I wanna fuck Chadwick Boseman but I’ve never touched him either!” Phillip let out a frustrated growl. “If you weren’t driving, I would kick your Goddamn ass. Gustav wanted to fuck Tadzio! It’s just like Lolita!”

“It’s nothing like Lolita! There’s no incestual relationship! Also, they never even touch! There’s maybe two lines of dialogue between the whole book!” 

“Gustav, if given the opportunity, would’ve bedded Tadzio in a second. The concept of a muse is a renaissance idea! It wasn’t relevant in such a time!”

“Oh, really? In the country where the renaissance took off?” Georges gave Phillip an exhausted look.

“The point of the book being set in Venice was because Italy was a Napoleonic country! If you read Forster’s book Maurice, you know the doctor tells Maurice to go to Italy or France once they realize his homosexuality is untreatable!”

“Forster and Mann were two entirely different people!”

“Mann was a homosexual incestuous pedophile! He wrote that he wanted to sleep with his own son! The man wrote novels about incest, pedophilia, and homosexual relationships! His children were fucking each other, his wife and her brother were fucking each other, his daughter married someone thirty years older than her! The absolute dysfunction of that family!” Phillip shook his head.

“Thomas Mann was fucked up but-”

“He wanted to fuck his son! Death In Venice might as well be some self-insert fic!”

“If it was him handling his feelings for his son by writing, wouldn’t Gustav and Tadzio have actually done something?” Georges pulled into the woman’s health parking lot. “I’m sorry, it’s hard to believe that this was supposed to be some kind of fucked up love story if he never even speaks to Tadzio!”

“It was the early twentieth century! In Germany! Read the subtext!”

“Are you two done?” Theo asked from the back seat.

“Theo, tell Georges he's wrong.”

“No, Theo, tell Phillip he’s wrong.”

“I’m literally about to get an ultrasound, are we really worrying about this?”

“Well our English teacher wouldn’t assign it so the whole class can debate it, so Georges and I are doing it on our own.” Phillip got out of the car, stretching. “Why do we always get dumb books assigned to us? Everyone knows what The Scarlet Pimpernel is about, I want books I have to  _ think  _ about.”

“Not to take all the attention away from shitty white men but I’m about to have an ultrasound.”

“Well you said you wanted to be treated normally, so we aren’t gonna coddle you,” Georges pointed out as Phillip held the door open for her.

Theo sighed. “Fair enough.”

She checked in and they all sat down in the waiting room, huffing a bit.

“So, have you thought about names?” Phillip asked.

“No.”

“Would you like to think about names?” Georges continued.

“No.” Theo huffed. “I don’t even want to be pregnant.”

“You could get an abortion,” Phillip offered. 

“If I’m not too far along.”

“Well, you have the option up until twenty-four weeks, and you really don’t look twenty-four weeks pregnant.”

“How pregnant do I look?” Theo asked.

Georges shrugged. “Eh, not really much at all. I mean…” He trailed off. “Wait, I don’t want to talk about your body in a way that hurts your feelings.”

“I have a fucking human inside me it’s not gonna hurt my feelings.”

“Alright.” Georges paused. “Before I say this you should know that I love you and think you’re beautiful no matter what, and-”

“Georges,” Theo muttered in a warning voice.

“You do look like you’ve gained weight. But not in a bad way! You just look thick!”

Theo sighed, putting her face in her hands. “God, what the Hell am I gonna do?”

“Theodosia?” A nurse called out.

The trio stood up and followed the nurse into the doctor’s office. Phillip and Georges sat down on the little bench in there, while Theo sat on the table, answering a few medical questions before the nurse left. 

“Would you abort it?” Georges asked.

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “I mean, I don’t really want to have a baby. I just need to know how far along I am, and if I’m even pregnant at all.”

“I hope you’re not,” Phillip stated. “I mean, I think I would love to have a niece or nephew from you, but like, not right now.”

“Also, I’d like to know the father beforehand so I can give my approval,” Georges stated.

“Alright, and where’s our patient today?” The doctor smiled, coming in. She was a tall woman, with bright eyes and long hair. “Hi, Theo, my name is Doctor Hemmings. Ultrasound today, right?”

Theo nodded.

“Do you know how far along you are?”

“No idea.”

“And is the father here?” Hemmings looked towards Phillip and Georges.

“Oh, no, we’re not-”

“We don’t-”

Phillip and Georges spoke over each other, flustered and panicked.

“No, the father is not here,” Theo sighed.

Hemmings nodded, then got out the ultrasound machine. “Well, we’ll try external, and if we don’t see anything, then let’s try transvaginal.”

“What if we don’t see anything there?” Theo asked.

“Then we should probably test to see if you’re even pregnant. Did you take an at-home test?”

Theo nodded. 

“Sometimes those can be wrong, but if they are, no worries. I would like to do a blood draw though, and a pap smear, just to make sure your hormones aren’t increased due to cancer or something bad like that.”

“How likely is it that I would have cancer?” Theo asked.

“Oh, not too likely. You are still young, so the hormones could just be… hormonal.” Hemmings smiled, pulling over the ultrasound machine. “How have you been feeling these past few weeks? Nauseous? Tired?”

Theo shook her head. “No, not really.”

“Hm. Shirt up. This will be cold.” Hemmings squirted some gel onto Theo’s stomach, then pressed the sensor to it. It took a few seconds, but suddenly the sound of a baby’s heartbeat filled the room. Hemmings creased her eyebrows. “This can’t be right.”

“What?” Theo looked at the doctor. “What can’t be right?”

“Dear, according to your ultrasound, how far along the baby has progressed, you must be at least six months along, maybe even more.”

Theo’s jaw dropped. “What? That’s impossible!”

“Have you been sexually active in the past six months?”

“I’ve been sexually active the past four years, but this… I mean, do you see my stomach? I don’t look six months pregnant.”

“She just mentioned it like, a week ago,” Georges put out. “I mean, how can she be six months pregnant?”

“Well, firstly, she could be more. Unless you know the date of gestation, we can’t give a solid answer, and secondly, some women don’t show all that much. I’ve seen women who are nine months pregnant that barely look three.”

“Oh, my God.” Theo shook her head. “This can’t be possible. Oh my God.”

Hemmings bit her lip. “I can give you information on adoption, but at this point in time, since both you and the baby are in good health, I cannot legally perform an abortion on you.”

Theo sat up, staring wide-eyed at her stomach. “Oh my God. What am I gonna do?”

Hemmings placed her hand on Theo’s arm. “It’s alright. Whatever you choose to do with the baby is up to you. I can give you information and resources in many different ways to handle this. If you do not want this baby, you do not have to keep it, and no one here will judge you for it.”

Theo shook her head. “Shit. I’m so fucked.”

“Are you in a safe situation?” Hemmings asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” Theo shook her head. “Oh, God. I really just need some time to process this.”

“Alright. I’m going to write down some prenatal vitamins you should pick up at Walgreens,” Hemmings started. “I’m also going to give you a few pamphlets on adoption. Perhaps if you wanted to, and began the process now, you could have a family ready at the time of birth.”

Theo nodded, her lips pushed together.

The car ride back from the clinic was completely silent.


	3. Moliere's Farce

“You’re up early,” Alex commented, watching Phillip come down the steps into their kitchen.

Phillip yawned, going to the coffee pot. “Yeah, Theo wants Georges and I to go work out with her.” He filled up a cup and then took out some leftovers. “Do we have any other plans today?”

“Huh? Oh, no.” Alex tilted his laptop screen down and looked to Phillip. “Hey, what’s with the C in APUSH, huh?”

“Flunked a test.”

“Did you save it?”

“Uh-huh.” 

“Alright, well, let’s go over it together, see what you messed up on. Is there any extra credit or makeup work you can do to get it back up to a B?”

Phillip shrugged. “Probably an extra credit for something coming up.”

“Alright, well, let’s do that too, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Alex smiled, ruffling his son’s hair a bit. “Make sure to eat before going. I don’t want you passing out on the treadmill or something like that.”

“Hey, you’re up early,” John commented, walking into the kitchen and going for the tea maker. “What’s up?”

“Theo wants me and Georges to work out with her. We’re going to the gym over at the NYU athletic facility.”

“Do you need money?” John asked.

“No, it’s just like, five dollars to get in if you aren’t a member.”

“Ah, alright.” John found his own leftovers in the fridge and began to eat them. “How’d you sleep, kid?”

“I slept alright.” Phillip shrugged. “Kinda crashed last night.”

“Yeah, you were tired.” Alex chuckled. “Did you hear Fuego having a bark off with the neighbor dogs last night?”

Phillip looked to the husky-pitbull mix, who was currently on his back, laying on the little mat by the sink in the kitchen. “Awh, pupper. What a baby.”

“Kept us up. We have to eventually bring him in. He then proceeded to lay down in the very middle of our bed and take up twice as much space.”

“What a good boy,” Phillip snickered, going over to scratch Fuego’s belly.

“Yeah, fantastic,” John mumbled sarcastically.

Phillip shoveled some more food into his mouth and then downed his coffee. “Alright, I gotta get outta here if I wanna be on time.”

“Hey, wait.” John pulled out some granola bars and handed three to Phillip. “Put ‘em in your bag, give them to your friends in case they get hungry. Are you guys gonna get lunch after this?”

“Yeah, probably just Wendy’s or something like that.”

“Alright, don’t starve.” John planted a kiss on the top of Phillip’s head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Love you, kid,” Alex smiled.

“Love you!” Phillip grabbed his gym bag, which was just a string backpack with his shoes and phone armband in it, and left the house, walking down the street to a subway station and making his way to the athletic center.

When he got there, Georges and Theo were already inside, running the track together, so Phillip was quick to join them, smiling. 

“Phillip, hey,” Georges smiled.

“You’re late,” Theo pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, sorry, sorry.” Phillip bumped into Theo. “Forgive me?”

Theo chuckled. “Maybe.”

“How you feeling today?”

She shrugged, pushing a bit of hair out of her face. “I mean, I honestly think I could feel way worse.”

“That’s good.” 

The trio ran in silence for a bit, and then they went over to the weight section. Phillip and Georges decided to have a deadlift contest while Theo just worked her legs. Georges won with a hundred and seventy-five pounds, but Phillip broke his personal record with a hundred and sixty.

Theo worked her way through the equipment while Phillip and Georges did a specific type of training that their coach taught them when it came to weights. It hurt like a mother fucker, since they were supposed to start with the heaviest weight they could lift, and work down in weight, but up in the number of reps. At five pounds, Phillip’s arms were screaming, and he was happy to be done.

“Ow, oh God, I’m gonna feel that tomorrow,” Georges muttered, doing a rag doll fold and trying to relax his arms. “Yoga, for sure.”

“Yeah, same. God, I love that I broke my PR with the deadlift, but my back is dying.”

Georges pointed to the stair steppers. “There she is.”

“God, Theo is kicking our asses,” Phillip laughed as they walked over to her. “Hey, chica, how you doin’?”

“I feel like I’m about to die, but could be worse.”

“How much you got left in you?”

“I dunno, an hour.”

“Then Georges and I are gonna do some one on one basketball together.” Phillip stepped up on the side of the machine and kissed Theo’s cheek. “We’re just gonna be in courts, so when you’re done, come and get us.”

“Alright, I will,” she nodded.

Phillip and Georges put their arms around each other and walked to the court, finding a ball and claiming one half of the basketball court, smiling as they began to play.

“What are we arguing about today?” Georges asked.

“I dunno.” Phillip pressed his lips together. “Do you think Theo is alright?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Phillip got the ball and stopped. “Georges, she’s…” he lowered his voice, looking around. “She’s pregnant. And it’s just… I mean, are we sure she’s okay? Like, really okay?”

“Phillip, I don’t think you really can be okay in a situation like this, but she’s strong, I think she’s just making the best with what she's got.”

“Still. This whole situation gives me heebie-jeebies. I mean, I really think we should tell her parents.”

“That’s a complete breach of her trust.”

“Sometimes that’s not such a bad thing!” Phillip argued.

Georges huffed. “Dude, she’s not in any immediate danger, she’s a grown-ass adult, she’s taking her vitamins, she’s not showing any signs of self-harm or suicide.”

“Well what about when the baby comes in three months, huh?” Phillip asked. “What then?”

“Then I think she will have to tell her parents.” Georges looked around. “Look, I also wish she would tell her parents, I think that would help the situation, and I also think they would be a lot more understanding than she thinks, but it’s her choice. I don’t think we should be trying to control her actions right now.”

“I’m not some fucking pro-lifer, I’m her friend.”

“Phillip, I’m not trying to argue about this.” Georges crossed her arms. “Theo needs time. Maybe, when the water calms, she will feel ready to tell her parents before she even has the baby. I honestly think she’s just really scared and emotional right now, and we just need to be there for her, help her calm down, help her through what she’s not ready to tell people yet, and then, on her own time, she will tell them.”

“That makes sense but I still don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either if it makes you feel better, but we’re her friends, we gotta support her.”

Phillip groaned. “Fine.” He tossed the ball back to Georges. “Moment shit starts to go south though, I’m calling her Dad.”

“I’ll call her Mom.” Georges let out a sigh, then smiled a bit. “Who was a better satirist, Voltaire or Moliere?”

“Oh, Moliere, obviously.”

Georges shook his head. “Nope, sorry, it was Voltaire.”

And their basketball game began.

Theo came and got them about half an hour later, and Phillip was still going on about Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme and how it completely pushed the boundaries of farce. 

“I’m hungry,” she decided.

“Chipotle? Wendys? Chinese? Mexican? We could get pizza,” Phillip began to list. “I have some granola bars in my backpack.”

“Much more hungry than that,” Theo stated. “How about Chipotle?”

“Yes, I could kill for a burrito,” Georges mumbled.

“Should we just walk? I know there’s one right down the block, and I got an hour and a half left on the parking meter anyway.”

“That sounds fine.” Theo coughed and placed a hand on her stomach. “Hold on, I don’t-” her eyes widened and she bolted over to a trash can, just making it before vomiting. Both Georges and Phillip were quick to run over, holding her hair back and trying to help.

“Shit,” Theo mumbled, wiping her mouth.

“Do you think it’s-”

“Phillip, I know what you’re about to say, and if you say it, I’m gonna break your arm.”

Phillip held up his hands. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to say the M-word.

Theo groaned, straightening back up. “God, fuck. Fuck this nausea. Phillip, do you have one of those granola bars on you?”

Phillip handed her one, and the three of them sat down, Theo slowly eating the food and trying to settle her stomach.

“Maybe you pushed yourself a bit too hard,” Georges offered. “I mean, we don’t usually get up at seven am together and work out for two hours.”

“What about you guys? You worked out too and you’re not throwing up,” Theo scoffed.

“We didn’t really push ourselves,” Phillip stated. “Also, we aren’t pregnant.”

“I’m gonna shove the next pigeon I see so far up your ass that you might as well be,” Theo grumbled.

Phillip smiled a bit, then sighed. “Theo, maybe you should take it… I dunno, a bit easier than you are. Most people who are six months pregnant stay in bed and eat cheese whiz.”

“Most people who are six months pregnant don’t have to hide it from the world.” Theo huffed, then put her face in her hands. “Oh, God, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Maybe you should tell your parents,” Georges suggested.

“I’m not doing that.”

“I think they’d be way more supportive than you think. You’re underestimating them, Theo,” Phillip put out.

“It’s not that I don’t think they’d be supportive, it’s that I know they have all these dreams for me, and I’d rather not crush it by telling them I’m pregnant.”

“Well, your life isn’t over because of this.”

“I’m having a baby!” Theo gasped.

“You could always safe drop it at the fire station.”

Theo tugged at her hair. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I have no idea. At this point, I’m fucking… I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t even…” She shook her head. “Oh, God, what am I gonna do?”

“Hey, alright, calm down, it’s alright.” Phillip put his arm around her. “This isn’t something you were prepared for, it’s alright to not know what to do. You have time though, we have time. Georges and I will be with you the whole way, and we will support you with whatever you choose to do. It’s going to be alright.”

Theo shook her head. “I’m pregnant and in high school. I’m supposed to be thinking about colleges and senior pranks.”

“We can still do that.”

Theo shot Georges a glare. “I just, God, I don’t understand why this all happened to me.”

“It’s gonna be alright.”

“How do you know that?”

Phillip shrugged. “I dunno, it always is alright. Look, whatever happens, wherever we are six months from now, Georges and I are gonna be here, and you’re gonna be okay. We can figure this out, and it’s okay if it’s not figured out right now. You have time, I promise.”

Theo nodded, sighing. “Alright, sorry for being such a bitch, I’m just really fucking hormonal right now, and God.” Theo shook her head. “I’m really hungry.”

Georges smiled. “Alright, let’s go eat then. I’m hungry too.”

“I could fuck for a burrito.”

“You could fuck for anything, Phillip,” Theo pointed out.

“Yeah, that is true.” Phillip smiled and held open the door for his friends.

The three of them walked out of the gym and down the street to the restaurant. It was a blissful ignorance they all basked in now, one that kept them safe from the true horrors that were to come. They were friends getting food, and that was all that mattered.


	4. Burroughs' Handbook

“Actually, The Wild Boys makes perfect sense.”

“No, it doesn’t! The plot in itself, it didn’t become apparent until like, the last six chapters! Burroughs was all over the place! I mean, what even is it?”

“It’s a handbook for revolution.”

“Well, it’s a shitty handbook. First of all, fucking the spirit people back to life, what? Then, then, when suddenly the story moves to Nome, Alaska, what does that mean? Obviously, out of the book series, The Job or Exterminator made much more sense!”

“None of them truly made sense! The Wild Boys just made the most sense!”

“So anal sex is necessary to revolution?”

Theo whipped her head over to Phillip. “If you are going to be saying things like that, lower your voice.”

Phillip groaned, putting his arms around Theo. “Tell Georges he’s wrong.”

“She can’t because she’s not a liar,” Georges stated. “So wait, where are we going?”

“I need a Homecoming dress, so we’re going to Manhattan dresses so you guys can tell me if I look pregnant or not on a scale of one to ten. Three and under means I could just be a little fat.”

“You don’t look pregnant in general,” Georges pointed out.

“I might in a tight dress, so you gotta help me out.” Theo turned and looked at them. “I know you hate shopping, but you gotta do it for me.”

“Ah, Theo, you know we love you.” Georges put his arm around her waist. “And we gotchu. Ride or die, you our bitch.”

“I ain’t nobody’s bitch, you’re  _ my  _ bitches.”

Phillip laughed. “You right, you right.”

They arrived at the store and walked in. Phillip and Georges were immediately out of their league and absolutely shocked at the prices on the dresses.

“Where do you have this kind of money?” Phillip asked softly.

“My parents and I are splitting the dress three ways, and also we live in New York, guys, obviously our parents have a little money.”

“Still. I could buy five pairs of basketball shoes for this price.”

Theo groaned. “What color do I look best in?”

“Purple. Or red. Not orange,” Georges started. “A light tan might look good, not black. Black people do look good in black, but like, it’s just not your vibe. Uh, would you wear yellow?”

“Maybe, if it looked nice enough.”

“Alright. Are we going for sexy or sweet?”

“Something in the middle.”

Phillip sighed. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“It’s alright, Phillip,” Theo mumbled, looking at a gold dress. “Tell us one of your opinions. You have a lot of those, right?”

“Uh, calling the Torah the Old Testament is bullshit.” Phillip ran his hand along a red velvet dress and pulled it off the rack. “Because I mean, the Torah isn’t the old testament. It’s the Torah. But Christians shouldn’t be appropriating Jewish customs, and Messianic Jews don’t exist. I’m sorry, but if you believe in Jesus, that’s just Christianity, and you’re using this to steal Jewish traditions.”

“Well, wasn’t Jesus a real person?”

“Yes, he was, I don’t doubt that, but he wasn’t the son of God. God sends prophets, we know that, and you can see that not only in Judaism, but in Islam too, but none of these prophets claimed to be the son of God.” Phillip huffed. “I mean, Jewish holidays do not belong to people who are Christian. They do not get to criticize us, murder us, make our religion into a joke, stereotype us, torture us, brutalize us, turn us into caricatures, and  _ then  _ take what is so rightfully ours. Then! Then! They go on to completely erase Jesus’ Jewish features. They whitewash our history, steal our land, steal our practices, and then still make fun of us? Where is the logic?”

“So, was Jesus black?” Georges asked.

“He wasn’t black, he was middle-eastern. He had a big nose, curly black hair, brown skin, brown eyes. He was Jewish, he had Jewish features, but! He was not the leader of the Jewish people!”

Theo looked at Phillip. “How’s that online Jewish Theology class coming?”

“Great, actually.”

Theo smiled. “Good.”

Phillip huffed a bit, then pulled out a white silk dress. “Do you like this?”

“Yeah, it’s cute.” Theo had about three dresses in her arms, so she sighed and looked at her friends. “Alright, come on, let’s try these on and you tell me how pregnant I look.”

“It’s what we’re good for,” Phillip smiled, finger gunning.

They walked over to the dressing rooms and Phillip and Georges waited while Theo got changed into the first dress.

“Burroughs wrote porn with a plot, not a handbook to revolution.”

“How can you reduce his writing to that!” Georges gasped.

“I’m not reducing his writing to that, I’m reducing one book of his to that! He’s a good writer, and The Wild Boys was a good book, but to say that you understood a fucking word of it just proves that you’re a god damned liar.”

“You just don’t think critically.”

“You are such a liar! You have no idea what it all meant! You just watched an analysis on YouTube and decided they were right.”

“Analyses are helpful!” Georges gasped.

“No they aren’t! They are someone else’s opinion! Think for yourself!”

“Well, it was a handbook!”

“No, it was a story. It was all over the place until the end, and then it was still a bit confusing. It didn’t give any information, it just told how guerilla gangs took over the world! Physically, we couldn’t do what they do! The writing was beautiful and romantic, even if it was all over the place, but nowhere did it tell you how to do revolution!”

“It gave you ideas!”

“Fight Club gives you ideas for revolution, that doesn’t mean it’s a handbook for revolution!”

“You need to reread the book.”

“I’ve read it seven times!”

“Guys.” Theo laughed a bit. “Can you go two minutes without arguing?”

“No, because he’s-” Phillip stopped, looking at Theo. “Damn, Ma, you lookin’ fine as fuck.”

Theo rolled her eyes and did a little spin. “How pregnant do I look?”

Georges shrugged, looking at her stomach. “You don’t look pregnant, per se, but if people knew you were pregnant, they would know there’s a baby under there, but if they didn’t, they may just think you gained a little weight.”

“Alright, this goes in the maybe pile.”

Theo tried on a couple of dresses, a few of them instantly going into the no pile, and then decided on the red velvet dress that Phillip had picked out for her since it was loose but still very elegant.

“Flats or heels this year?” Georges asked.

“Ugh, flats. My feet are way too swollen for heels.”

“How are you feeling today?” Phillip asked.

“Nauseous, nauseous, and oh, did I mention nauseous? Also really hungry. We should get food after this.”

“Yeah, I could kill for a burger. Shake Shack?”

Theo nodded. “Hell yeah. I’m getting four burgers.”

“Me too.”

She sighed. “After I have this baby, let’s do something fun, like get wasted on schnapps or some shit like that.”

“That sounds great,” Phillip muttered as they waited in line to pay. “How much is the dress?”

“About five hundred dollars.”

“Do you even got that kind of money on your card?” Georges asked.

“I literally have a job.”

Phillip groaned. “I just realized I’m gonna have to get some clothes for homecoming.”

“Let’s get matching pink tuxedos,” Georges offered. “Oh, yeah, I need a date. Phillip, you and me, right?”

“Hell yeah, dude.” Phillip bro-hugged Georges.

“When will you two just hook up?” Theo groaned.

“Don’t be gay, Theo,” Georges snickered.

“You’re gay, Georges.”

Georges smiled. “Damn right I am, sister.”

Theo rolled her eyes and smiled. “I don’t know why I put up with you two.” 

Phillip leaned up and kissed her cheek. “You love us, Theo. That’s why.”

“I definitely love the idea of you.”

“Who are you going with, by the way?” Georges asked. 

“Peter Jefferson, football.”

“You think he could be daddy?”

Theo shrugged a bit. “No, not really. We only hooked up once, and that was like, two months ago, so…”

“Ah, yeah.”

Theo got up to the counter and paid, and then they began to leave the dress store. “I mean, Peter and I are just going because we’re friends and he needed a date. I’m not really into him, and he’s not into me. Not like that, least.” 

“I like Peter. He’s fucking funny,” Phillip chuckled. “He once gave me a ride home from this party since we live nearby, and shit, I mean, I was a little high, but he was just, he was fucking cracking me up. He really do be cheesin’ with everyone.”

“He’s a killer basketball player too, and football,” Georges nodded.

“God, he charged me once in a pickup game, I thought I was gonna die.”

Theo laughed. “Yeah, Phillip, I don’t know how you play football, you’re fucking tiny.”

“It’s ‘cause I can run fast. Same reason I’m good at basketball.”

“So for homecoming, you guys are gonna stay close right? If I throw up, I don’t want to have to wait in the girl’s bathroom for an hour waiting for you guys to check your phones.”

“Alright, we’ll just be at the punch table arguing about philosophy or government or whatever.” Phillip smiled.

“I don’t understand how you guys can argue and still be so close as you are. Like, what’s the attraction?”

“Well, it’s not like we argue about whether or not people deserve rights,” Georges pointed out. “It’s just books and philosophy. Shit, that’s not as important. We agree ethically.”

“Sometimes,” Phillip pointed out.

“Sometimes?” Theo asked, her eyebrow raised.

“I think writing in books is sin, his books have more of his words than the authors,” Georges explained.

“And I don’t analyze my books,” Phillip scoffed.

“Writing your opinion is not analysis.”

“It’s my analysis,” Phillip pointed out as they walked into the building where Shake Shack was.

“Your analysis doesn’t make it right.”

“No analyses are right, Georges. The idea that anything in itself can be right is a lie. I mean, we make shit up all the time. Just because it’s widely accepted, doesn’t mean it’s correct.”

“What about two plus two equals four?”

“Numbers are a manmade concept. Sure two and two is four, but the concept of numbers and counting in themself is completely abstract from our basic instincts. We were meant to hunt, gather, tell stories, and braid hair. Anything else is manmade and unnecessary.”

“You’re making my head hurt,” Theo mumbled. “But Phillip is right in this one.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, Georges, but most things are man-made. Although, Phillip, you forgot fucking as our basic instincts.”

“I don’t think fucking is a basic instinct,” Phillip muttered.

“It totally is!” Theo laughed. “I mean, maybe not fucking to get off, but reproduction? Phillip, populating is an instinct.”

“She is right,” Georges offered. 

“Phillip’s just never gotten his dick wet,” Theo stated.

“Hold on, I have fuckin’ too.” Phillip rolled his eyes. “I’m just generally too busy to fuck.”

“Whatever, we need a virgin.”

“You can tease, but I’ve got hoes. I can go get laid tonight.”

“You do not have hoes.”

“I do too!” Phillip pulled out his phone, pulling up some texts. “There’s Macy, Sarah, Emily, and Cara.”

“Ooh, you sext sometimes.”

“Well, now I’m gonna go get laid, send a picture to you guys.” Phillip smiled. “I can so get my dick wet.”

“We know,” Georges chuckled. “You lost it at a Bernie Rally, right?”

Phillip sighed, smiling. “She had long legs, curly hair, an ass like a lollipop, and she was a Bernie supporter. It was a win.”

Theo snorted. “Whatever. Come on, let’s get in line. I’m starved.”

Georges smiled, putting his arm around Theo. “Alright, let’s go.”


	5. Knowles' Homoeroticism

Senior year homecoming is maybe something important, but Phillip, Georges, and Theo were currently at Wendy's in their homecoming clothes, eating food and comforting a crying Theo. Phillip was about halfway through his second milkshake, Theo was on her third burger. She had apparently only been eating salads for the past two days to look a bit skinnier for homecoming and was now making up for it as Phillip and Georges reminded her that she needed to eat for two, not half of one.

Theo had thrown up about an hour into the dance. She made it to a trash can, barely, before the contents of her stomach passed her lips. Since Georges and Phillip did stay true to their promise and had remained close, they were quick to usher her out of there and into Phillip’s car, where they drove to the nearest restaurant and gorged themselves. 

“I can’t believe I almost threw up on him,” Theo groaned.

“It could’ve been worse,” Georges pointed out. “You could’ve  _ actually  _ thrown up on him.”

She took another bite of her burger. “God, this is so good. I’m never eating anything else ever again. Only burgers. This shit is so good.”

“How you liking Wendy's?” Phillip asked Theo’s stomach.

“Phillip, I love you, but if you ever do that again, I’m gonna whoop your skinny ass so fast that you’ll get whiplash.”

“Skinny? Baby, I’m thick as fuck.” Phillip put his foot up on the seat, slapping his thigh. “Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.”

Theo rolled her eyes, laughing. “Whatever. Are you guys bummed you didn’t stay longer at homecoming?”

Georges shook his head. “I don’t even like homecoming. Too many freshmen.”

“Way too many,” Phillip agreed. “But you best not throw up for prom. We have plans for prom.”

Theo paused. “I think I won’t be pregnant by the time prom rolls around.”

“Hire a sitter, let’s party. Or, actually, bring it.” Georges smiled. “Ain’t no party like a newborn party ‘cause a newborn party don’t stop!”

“When we party with a newborn, a newborn, drinkin’ and smokin’ all night long!” Phillip continued.

“We keep it funky with the newborn, I got love for that motherfuckin’ newborn!” Georges rapped.

Phillip and Georges looked at Theo, big smiles on their faces, waiting for her to continue it.

“Really? You really want me to do this?”

They both nodded.

Theo sighed, then smiled a bit. “When the la-la hits ya, the lyrics just splits ya, head so hard that ya hat can’t fit ya!”

“Aye!” Phillip cheered, taking a bite of his burger.

“I don’t know why I hang out with you guys,” Theo complained.

“Because you love us,” Georges pointed out.

“Yeah, whatever.” Theo smiled and took a sip of her water. “I miss caffeine.”

“Oh, yeah, no caffeine. Man, I could never be pregnant,” Phillip muttered.

“Because you live off of weed and Redbull. Phillip, I think if you got pregnant you would die. I mean, the only things you live off of are the things I can’t have.”

Phillip nodded, smiling, and sipping the shitty black coffee he ordered, before shoving three ranch drenched chicken nuggets into his mouth. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Theo popped the last bite of her burger in her mouth and sighed. “Alright, I’m shot. Are you guys almost done?”

“Yeah, hold on.” Georges shoved the second half of his burger into his mouth and then downed his soda. “Alright, let’s go.” 

“Wait-” Phillip scarfed his last two nuggets and downed his hot coffee, then smiled. “Yeah, let’s go. Theo, we’re closest to your place, so I’ll drop you off first. Do you want to get anything to go?”

Theo hummed and glanced back over at the menu. “Uh, no, I’m good. I think there’s some chips at my house that I really like or some other foods.” She stood up and brushed her dress off, then collected her trash. “Thank you guys for putting up with my pregnancy shit.”

“Psh, we always knew we’d help you through a pregnancy. Yes, the circumstances are different, but eating fast food with you at eleven at night was pretty much expected,” Georges stated.

Theo rolled her eyes and laughed. “Whatever, oh my God.”

The three of them threw their trash away and walked out of the building into the cool night air. It was as dark as New York got, and there was a slight chill, but it was a short walk to Phillip’s car. They got in, Theo stretching out in the back and taking her shoes off of her swollen feet and huffing, rubbing them a bit.

“Did you think more about what you’re gonna do with it?” Phillip asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

“My baby is not an ‘it’ and no, I haven’t.” Theo looked out the window. “I don’t really know. I just, it’s a lot to think about.”

“Have you thought about telling your parents?” Georges asked.

“Yes, and I still don’t want to.”

“Alright.” Georges was quiet. “Tomorrow’s Sunday, are we doing anything?”

“I got plans with my parents,” Phillip stated. “We’re gonna go to a museum and then me and my Dad are gonna work on this test I failed. Study it and whatnot.”

“Alright, then I’ll probably call and ask work if I can pick up another shift.”

“And I will watch Netflix and eat cake.” Theo smiled and leaned forward. “Maybe we should skip on Monday.”

“No, I have to retake that test,” Phillip muttered. “I wish though.”

“Fine.” Theo groaned, then yawned. “God, alright, okay, I’m gonna sleep hella tonight.”

“Tired?”

“Yeah, being pregnant makes me really tired. I mean, I’ve been taking naps. I never take naps.” She laughed a bit.

Phillip pulled up to Theo’s house and looked back at her. “Hey, we’ll see you Monday, alright?”

She nodded, getting her shoes back on. “Let’s go to the mall after school, I wanna get a pair of Uggs or a pair of Crocs. My feet cannot take Vans anymore.”

“Alright, I’ll take my car on Monday.” Phillip smiled. “Bye Theo!”

“Bye Theo!” Georges waved a bit.

“Bye guys, love you!”

“Love you too!”

Theo shut the door and Phillip began to drive again. The radio was turned into the college station, and that particular DJ that night had chosen slow jazz as the genre to serenade any listeners.

“That was actually not the worst homecoming we’ve had,” Georges admitted, laughing a bit.

“Yeah, it actually wasn’t.” Phillip smiled. “We didn’t get to dance though.”

“No, but that’s alright.”

“Is it?”

Georges looked over at Phillip. “Don’t cry over spilled milk, Flip.”

“I’m not, I’m just saying that this night doesn’t feel complete without a slow dance from you.”

“Oh yeah?” Georges rolled his eyes, smiling. 

Phillip pulled up next to a park and nodded. “Yeah.” 

“What are you doing?” Georges asked. 

“Come on, get out of the car.” Phillip got out and met Georges on the sidewalk. He had rolled down the windows so the sound of the slow jazz leaked out into the night. Phillip bowed a bit. “May I have this dance?”

“You may.” Georges laughed a bit and took Phillip’s hand, slow dancing with him. “You’re a total nerd, you know that?”

“Well, look, I wasn’t about to end the night without a dance with my homecoming date.” Phillip tightened his arm around Georges’ waist, smiling. “You did say yes, so you owe this to me.”

“Oh, I owe this to you?”

“You do.”

“God, you are such a freak.”

“Yeah, see, I know that.” Phillip smiled, looking at Georges. “Don’t take this in a gay way, but you look really nice tonight.”

“How can I not take that in a gay way?” Georges deadpanned.

“Well girls compliment each other all the time, why can’t boys?”

Georges shook his head, laughed. “God, you’re so weird.”

“Yeah, but that’s one of the perks of being friends with me.”

“Is it?”

“It is.”

Georges shook his head a bit. “I’m really glad we never ask anyone else to go with us to dances. You’re my favorite dance partner.”

“Well, now that can only be taken in a gay way.”

“Good. I was saying it in a gay way.”

Phillip shrugged, then nodded. “Doing the math though, you say everything in a gay way, technically. Because, you know-”

“Yes, I know.” Georges rolled his eyes a bit. “You’re dumb.”

“Yeah, we know.” Phillip tapped Georges' nose. “You wouldn’t like me any other way.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” Georges chuckled, looking at Phillip. “Have you ever kissed a boy?”

“I don’t think so. I have gotten pretty drunk, so it’s possible, but not that I remember. I just don’t want to though. Doesn’t do it for me.”

“Oh? How do you know if you’ve never kissed a boy?”

“How do you know if you’ve never kissed a girl?” Phillip shot back.

“Dude, I’ve had sex with girls. Believe me, if being intimate with a woman did it for me, I would know. It’s a universal truth. Like how A Separate Peace was just really gay.”

“You are so wrong! I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are.” Phillip laughed a bit. “I dunno, I just know.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Maybe not.”

“You should kiss a boy once, just to know.”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

Georges shrugged. “Only if you want to kiss me.”

“Well, I feel like it would only be right to kiss my best friend. Get ready for me to knock your goddamn socks off, Georges. Meanwhile, I’ll be picturing Jennifer Lopez.”

Georges rolled his eyes. “Nevermind. You ruined it.”

“No, no, come on.” Phillip stopped and took Georges’ face in his hands. “Don’t be like that.” He ran his thumb over Georges’ cheekbone and sighed. “Just, relax.”

“You’re the one who should relax.”

Phillip smiled, then leaned in and kissed Georges. The kiss itself lasted about four seconds, and then Phillip pulled away, laughing. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?”

Georges couldn’t even say anything. The feeling of Phillip’s lips against his own had completely thrown him off, and suddenly, he couldn’t even speak. He wanted to kiss Phillip again, and again, and again. He wanted to never stop kissing him.

“Georges?”

“Huh?”

Phillip smiled. “Too shocked to even process the kiss, huh, big boy?”

Georges realized that Phillip’s feelings towards that brief moment of intimacy greatly differed from his own, and he realized that he just wanted to go home. “I think I’d like to go home now.”

Phillip laughed, a bit confused. “Was I that bad?”

Georges broke himself free from Phillip’s arms, walking back to his car. “Please take me home.”

“Alright, alright.” Phillip got back in and changed the station. “You alright?”

Georges nodded. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“You don’t seem sure.”

“Well, I am.” Georges swallowed hard and stared out the window. “I’m just tired.”

“Alright.” Phillip bit his lip, driving back to Georges’ house in silence. He kept trying to say something, but the view of his friend, sitting in the passenger’s seat and staring out the window with a hardened face stopped him every time.

When they arrived at the house, Phillip got out of the car to walk Georges to his door but frowned when he realized that Georges was already halfway up the walkway without even saying goodbye.

“Hey, bye!” Phillip called out.

“Yeah, bye.” Georges opened the front door without looking back and suddenly he was gone.

Phillip groaned, getting back in his car. He drove home quickly and stepped into his house, seeing his Pop sitting there, reading a book.

“Hey, kiddo,” John smiled, standing up. “You alright?”

“No.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“I think Georges is mad at me,” Phillip huffed, throwing his jacket onto the floor and undoing his tie.

“Well, what happened?”

“I dunno, we were just slow dancing because we kinda left homecoming early to get food, and I wanted to dance with him, and we had already dropped Theo off, so we were just dancing to the radio, and then he made some joke about kissing me, and then I dunno, I kissed him, just as like, a joke, and it didn’t even last that long, and I mean, we were joking about it, and I asked before I even did it, so it’s not like that. But like, then he just, he got all quiet and told me to take him home, and like, he wouldn’t look at me the whole car ride, and he didn’t even say goodbye. Like, what the Hell.”

John hummed. “Well, I don’t think you’ll like the answer I’m gonna give you about what went wrong.”

“Why not?”

“Because I remember being your age, and I wouldn’t have liked that answer either.” John stood up. “Alright, well, I’m gonna go to bed now that you’re here.”

“Wait, Pop, you cannot just leave me hanging.”

“Look, you’re smart. I’m sure if you think hard enough, you’ll come to the same conclusion. Just, use your critical thinking skills.”

“I’m stupid! Tell me the answer!”

“You’re not stupid!” John kissed the top of Phillip’s head. “I love you, good night. Maybe shoot Georges a text, apologizing for hurting his feelings.”

“I don’t know how I hurt his feelings though!”

“Trust me on this. It gets me out of a lot of cold shoulders that your Dad gives me. Just, apologize.”

Phillip huffed. “I’m gonna stay up and watch an R rated movie.”

“Alright, TV on low.” John walked back upstairs. “Love you, kid.”

“Love you too, Pop.”


	6. Forster's Romance

Phillip stared at his phone, the screen open to his and Georges’ text log, trying to build up the courage to say something. Since Saturday, Georges had successfully ignored Phillip, which was actually really hard to do. Phillip was hot and loud, so he didn’t get ignored very easily. Also, he and Georges had about three classes together, so even more, it was just difficult for Georges to do that, but he did. He wasn’t stupid by any means though, so he did it quite successfully.

“Ugh.” Phillip shook his head. “No more baby shit.”

‘Hey, you wanna play basketball later?’

Bam, that wasn’t so hard. Phillip smiled and set down his phone, focusing back on the piece he was working on. It was his free period, so he spent it in the art room, humming and doing his own thing while the Freshmen goofed off.

Phillip’s phone buzzed and he picked it back up.

‘No, I’m busy.’

Phillip rolled his eyes. ‘No, you aren’t. Name one thing you’re doing.’

‘I have to pick up groceries, do my homework, walk the dog, clean up my room, do some laundry.’

Okay, so Georges was actually busy. That didn’t mean anything to Phillip though, because Georges was always blowing shit off to hang out with him. ‘Come on, dude, we haven’t talked in like, three days. It’s weird. Meet me on the courts out back after school.’

‘Phillip, I can’t.’

‘I will find you and drag you out there.’

‘If I say yes, will you stop distracting me from psych?’

‘Yes.’

‘Fine, I’ll be there.’

Phillip smiled and went back to painting.

School ended and Phillip changed from joggers to basketball shorts in an empty doorway in the school hallway, something he had done millions of times without getting caught. He arrived at the courts first, and just for a moment, thought Georges might stand him up, but then he caught sight of his friend, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, walking towards the courts. Phillip smiled and waved.

“You ready to get your ass kicked?”

“Look, can we make this quick? I literally have things to do still.”

Phillip groaned, dribbling. “Okay, Clive.”

“Clive?”

“Yeah, you’re pulling that gay shit where you just, you repress any issues you have and you don’t talk about it.”

“I’m sorry, that’s gay shit?”

“We both read Maurice, if that’s not gay shit then I don’t know what is.”

Georges rolled his eyes and laughed. “You are so fucking thick, Phillip, I don’t even, God! Do you even hear what you say?”

“Look, are you gonna talk about what the hell is bothering you or not?”

Georges shook his head, laughing bitterly. “God, no, actually, what’s bothering me now is you reducing a beautifully written novel to ‘some gay shit’ where they don’t talk about their issues! Did you even read it? And then, then you use it as some metaphor for a blatantly homophobic statement!”

“Hold on, I didn’t-”

“Yes, you did! You took a beautifully written novel about love and heartbreak and you turned it into some joke! You know what? If anyone here is Clive, it’s you.”

“It’s me,” Phillip deadpanned.

“Yes! You’re ignorant, you play with my feelings-”

“How do I play with your feelings?”

“Oh, God, you are so thick, you must just… you like, you automatically fuck with me because that’s the kind of person you are! Mr. I-pull-mad-hoes Phillip! You’re so frustratingly stupid!” Georges got up in Phillip’s face. “You are Clive. You would do anything for me but be honest. You would love me as long as I don’t take it the wrong way.”

Phillip shook his head. “It’s rich you speak of being honest when I don’t even know why you’re mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you!”

“Yes, you are! You’re yelling at me!”

Georges stepped back and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t even know why I came. You know what? I’m gonna go.”

“No, you’re not. We’re gonna figure this out because I’m sick of not talking to you.”

“God, Phillip, please, for once, can’t you just drop it?” Georges begged.

“No! What the Hell is going on with you?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re my friend!”

Georges was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t want to be.”

Phillip paused, creasing his brows. “You don’t want to be friends with me anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Phillip.” Georges groaned in frustration. “It’s not like… God, you did everything right! I don’t want to be friends with you because I want to be more! I like you, Phillip, I really like you, and then on Saturday you kissed me and I realized you would never feel that way about me, and that’s okay! I don’t need you to feel that way about me! I get it, you’re straight, whatever, whatever, but I just…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m sorry. God, I’m just gonna go.”

“Georges, wait.”

“I don’t want your pity!” Georges laughed a bit. “I just, it’s not what I want right now.”

“Why do you assume I’m gonna pity you?” Phillip shook his head. “Can we just, like, talk?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“I don’t know, this is just, I mean, Georges, you never told me you have feelings for me.”

“Because it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Why? So you can get your rocks off knowing that you got both sexes to be incredibly attracted to you?”

Phillip paused. “You’re  _ incredibly  _ attracted to me?”

“I’m this close to punching you in the mouth.”

“Alright, hey, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just, Georges, I mean, you’re my best friend, and I-”

“Oh, God, please, don’t do that.” Georges shook his head. “Please don’t give me some bullshit speech about how I mean so much to you but you don’t see me like that. God, you’re so much like Clive! It makes me want to die!”

“So you get to be the main character?” Phillip scoffed.

“I’m the sad little gay boy who’s into someone who’s not gay, so yeah! I do get to be the main character!”

“Clive was gay!”

“He had a wife! He specifically stated he was attracted to women! Yeah, he and Maurice kissed a couple of times, fucked once or twice, but he just, he stopped liking men!”

“Well, maybe Clive liked both!”

“He was still an asshole!”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not sorry!”

“He never apologized in the book!”

“Well, I’m apologizing!”

“For what?”

Phillip smiled. “Being dashingly handsome and charismatic.”

“Do you want me to hit you? Is that what you want? Because I can do that.”

“Georges, look, it’s just… I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for kissing you.”

Georges swallowed. “Do you regret it?”

“What? Kissing you?”

Georges nodded.

“Well, no.” Phillip bit the inside of his cheek. “I mean, I just, I wouldn’t have if I had known it would hurt you, and-”

“The kiss itself didn’t hurt me, it’s the fact that you laughed and joked about it, and it’s not even that, it’s just, I know you’ll never feel the same about me, but just, I don’t know, I thought you might realize you do if you kissed me, and then you didn’t, and it just made me sad, and that’s not your fault, it’s just, ugh, you know what I mean!”

Phillip frowned. “I don’t want you to be sad.”

“It’s not really in your control.”

“Would it make you feel better if I kissed you again, and this time didn’t laugh?”

“Yes and no.”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“I always want to kiss you, you dumb stupid idiot.”

Phillip smiled. “Then how about we kiss, a real kiss, and then I find you a dude to dick you, huh?”

“Oh, God, please don’t find me a hookup.”

“No, that’ll be the only way you’ll get over me, so that’s what I’ll do. Now, come here.” Phillip took Georges’ hands and pulled him closer. “A real kiss and I won’t laugh, or make any jokes, I promise.”

“Why are you doing this?” Georges groaned, turning his face away as Phillip wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Because. Look at me.”

Georges raised an eyebrow and gave Phillip an unimpressed look. “This is a bad idea and you know it. What if I don’t talk to you for another three days?”

“Well, you’ll have to, because I’ll be scoping Tinder for your next man. Granted, none of them will be as great as me, but-”

“I will still punch you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I will.”

Phillip smiled a big smile. “Come on, a real kiss this time. I’ll pull out all the Phillip stops.”

“And what’s all the Phillip stops?”

“Shh.” Phillip placed a hand on Georges’ cheek and stared deeply into his eyes, lips parted a bit. His other hand went to Georges’ hip, tugging him a bit closer. Phillip had done this with a million other girls, and at this point, had it down to a science. He could make any kiss feel special.

Phillip tilted his head and leaned in close to Georges’ face, pausing a moment so their lips could only brush. He waited until he heard an undignified sound from Georges’ throat, one that meant ‘please’, and then kissed him.

The kiss was slow, gentle, and it drove Georges crazy. He ran his hands through Phillip’s hair, tugging at it a bit as they kissed. Phillip bit Georges’ lip, then sucked on it before diving back into the kiss again. It was a bit wet, messy, and oh so close.

Georges was the one to break away first, smiling a little bit and tilting his head, looking at Phillip. “You gonna find me a man now?”

Phillip swallowed, staring at Georges. “What?”

“You said you’d find me a man after this, and-”

“God, fuck that.” Phillip pulled Georges back into the kiss, breathlessly, and almost desperately, kissing him. Georges was almost shocked by this but kissed back regardless. Neither of them could stop, neither of them wanted to stop. Phillip grabbed a handful of Georges’ ass and pulled him closer.

“Phillip, Phillip,” Georges mumbled.

“Shh, don’t talk.” Phillip kept kissing Georges.

“Phillip, stop.”

Phillip pulled away at this, breathing heavily and staring at Georges.

“What the Hell?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what was that? You just, you kiss me as a joke, and then you don’t stop? I’m sorry, you are giving me a lot of mixed signals.”

“I…” Phillip didn’t really know how to explain whatever he was feeling.

“I’m not gonna be your experiment.” Georges creased his eyebrows. “I mean, if you’re feeling confused, that’s fine, figure it out, but I just, don’t use me to-”

“I thought this was what you wanted.”

“It is, but it’s not what you want.”

“You don’t know that.”

Georges took a step back. “You don’t know it either. Phillip, you don’t know what you want. You just… you’re confused, and I can respect that, but it’s not like I can just be your… be your hamster that you try out all your shameful gay fantasies on. I mean, I just, I’ve been a straight boy’s experiment before, and it actually doesn’t feel that great, and even if it was you, it still wouldn’t… Phillip, just, figure out what you want, and then whatever it is, tell me.”

“Well, what if you’re what I want?”

“Then that’s cool, but you don’t know that right now. You’re really confused. I mean, I told you I liked you, and then you kissed me. Guess what, that’s a big opportunity for confusion. I’m sorry, Phillip, I’m sorry for dragging you into this.” Georges looked around. “Look, I have to go do things, and-”

“Georges.” Phillip grabbed his hand. “I don’t want you to go.”

Georges sighed. “Phillip, please.”

He sighed, giving Georges a pained look before dropping his hand. “Alright. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Both of them stood there for a second, staring at each other with a yearning tenderness in their eyes. 

“I’m gonna go.”

“Okay.”

Georges turned and grabbed his bag, leaving the courts.

Phillip called Theo and went over to her place. He didn’t talk about what happened, just ate a few frozen pizzas with her and watched cheesy movies.


	7. Rosemary's Baby

Phillip didn’t actually notice a text coming to his phone. He was too busy trying to make eye contact with Georges, who was absolutely refusing to make eye contact with him. They had decided to be partners in a project a long time ago, and now it was really, really awkward.

“Come on,” Phillip groaned.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Georges muttered.

“You to stop being weird.”

“I’m not being weird.”

“You are.”

Georges let out a long sigh, looking up. “Do you even care about this class?”

“What? AP bio? Not as much as I care about you.”

Georges rolled his eyes.

“Come on, dude.”

With a huff, Georges set down his pencil and looked up at Phillip, a glare on his face. “Come on now, Phillip.” He pulled out his phone at the sound of it buzzing, then creased his eyebrows. “Theo is calling me.”

“Should I get out some scratch paper for the answers you’re going to give her?” Phillip joked.

“Hey, Theo, what’s-” Georges’ eyes widened. “What? Are you okay?- No, don’t do that. No, where are you?- Phillip and I are on our way.”

“What’s going on?”

Georges stood up, grabbing Phillip’s arm and pulling him out of the classroom before the teacher could even see them.

“Hey, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know. Something’s wrong though, really wrong. Theo is either going into labor or having a miscarriage.” 

“A what? Going into where? Wait, what?”

“Just, hush up. She’s in the girl’s bathroom, we’re gonna get her and get out of here.”

“To a hospital, right?”

“Yeah.” Georges shook his head. “Oh, God, what if something’s really wrong?”

“Well, it’ll be okay, because we’re going to a hospital.”

The two boys found Theo and got her out of the school into Phillip’s car, in the back so she could lay down and breathe.

“We aren’t going to a hospital.”

Phillip almost crashed the car. 

“What?” Both he and Georges turned around, looking at her. 

“We can’t.”

“Why not, Theo?” Phillip asked loudly.

“Because I can’t afford that bill! Please, look, there’s a motel-”

“A motel!” Georges yelled.

“Rodeway Inn, right near JFK,” Theo continued. “Fifty bucks a night, so it’ll be affordable, and-”

“I don’t think you understand why we are hesitant about this, Theo!” Phillip argued.

“Watch the road!” Georges complained. “Theo, I really think we should go to some kind of medical center!”

“No!” Theo groaned, throwing her head back and curling around her stomach. “Fuck! That hurts!”

“I’m taking us to a hospital,” Phillip decided.

“No, you’re not!” Theo pushed herself up. “If you take me to a hospital, I will do everything in my damn power to get away. I don’t care if I give birth on the damn New York subway, I am  _ not  _ paying ten thousand dollars just to have a baby I don’t want!”

Phillip ground his teeth together. “Theo, I really think this is a bad idea.”

“I will drop and roll out of the car.”

Georges looked at Phillip, swallowing. “First sign of trouble, I’ll call an ambulance.”

Phillip gave Georges an incredulous look. “She wants to give birth in a motel!”

“God, please! Just do this for me!”

“Theo, none of us are doctors!”

“There are YouTube videos, I can talk you through it!”

“No, you can’t! You’ll be giving birth!”

“Then you can look up a video!”

“This is crazy!” Phillip pulled over to the side of the road. “Theo, we need to take you to a doctor! What if this isn’t birth? Also, can I remind you, you are technically only seven months pregnant, this could be a very, very bad situation.”

“Phillip, here’s the deal. You can either take me to the hotel, we can do this together, or I can get out of the car, take a cab, and do it on my own. I’m not going to a hospital, I absolutely refuse to go to the hospital. You take your pick.”

Phillip gritted his teeth, looking at Georges, then back at Theo. He flexed his hands, then took a deep breath. “The moment shit goes south, I’m calling an ambulance.”

“But shit won’t go south, so it’ll be okay.”

Phillip shook his head and drove to the motel. Georges paid for the room and the three of them went up to it. It was on the second floor, it was crappy, stained walls, and AC that didn’t work. Phillip didn’t like this at all.

“Alright, I’m gonna-” She stopped, grabbing the wall and letting out a long groan. “Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit!”

“Theo, Theo, hey, hey.” Georges took her hand. “Alright, where are we going? To the bed? Do you need to lay down.”

“No, bathtub. Those are supposed to hurt less.”

“Okay! Nope! Nope! Nope! I can’t, I’m not- this isn’t happening! I’m calling an ambulance!” Phillip yelled. 

“Don’t you dare, Phillip Hamilton,” Theo growled. 

“This is absolutely insane!” Phillip shook his head. “I can’t do this!”

Georges sighed. “Theo, go sit in the bathtub, I’ll handle Phillip.”

“Thank you,” she muttered, going into the bathroom.

Georges pulled Phillip over to the other side of the room, lowering his voice. “Phillip, you need to calm down.”

“ _ Calm down _ ?” Phillip threw his arms up. “Are you fucking aware of the situation we’re in?”

“Phillip, I am, but you are not helping anything.”

At this point, Phillip wanted to punch Georges in the jaw. “Why am I the one who’s being crazy about this! Our friend is giving birth in a bathtub and I’m not helping by freaking the fuck out? We need to call someone! She hasn’t even told her parents yet. What, are we gonna help her kill this baby?”

“No!” Georges looked around, then back at Phillip. “Just, take a deep breath, we’re going to figure this out, and help Theo figure this out.”

“We are not doctors.”

“But we can help her.”

“Can we?”

“Phillip, just-” Georges pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re calling an ambulance the moment she gives birth, alright? She’s going to be too tired, too out of it to stop us, and that’s what we’ll do.”

Phillip huffed. “Fine. But I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either.”

The two boys walked into the bathroom to see Theo in the bathtub in a tee shirt and underwear, warm water filling it up slowly. Phillip sat down on the edge and took her hand, letting her squeeze him through her contractions while Georges got as much information as he could in the time they had.

It took about five hours before things were getting really serious. Theo’s contractions were no longer apart, she was in a lot of pain, and God, it was hard to see her like that. Phillip was trying to hold back a panic attack, trying to keep himself from calling an ambulance. If Theo didn’t have a death grip on his hand, he probably would’ve already.

“Theo, okay, how are you feeling?”

“I just, oh, God, I wanna push!” She groaned. “I feel like this baby is ripping a hole in me!”

“Alright, alright, deep breaths.”

Phillip looked at Georges. “Can she push?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fuck it!” Theo decided. “I’m pushing!”

“Wait, Theo, wait!” Phillip started.

Theo looked over at him. “I’m the one with the baby in me, I decide!”

Phillip looked at Georges. “Why do I feel like I’m reliving Rosemary’s Baby?”

“Do not compare me to some shitty sixties horror film!” Theo yelled.

“It wasn’t shitty!” Phillip argued.

“Now is not the time!” Georges decided. “Theo, you know best, if you feel ready to push, then push.”

“I’m pushing!”

“I can’t do this!” Phillip decided, walking out of the bathroom. Georges stayed to help Theo. Phillip decided to help Theo as well and call an ambulance. He explained the situation, gave them the address, and then hung up. He knew Theo would be pissed, but he was sick of waiting for Georges to do the right thing. This had all gone too far.

Phillip sat on his bed for a long time, waiting for something to change. Theo was yelling, Georges was saying something. And then it got real quiet, and then Phillip heard crying, a baby crying.

He got up and rushed into the bathroom to see Georges wrapping a small baby in a hotel towel, Theo still in the tub and panting. 

“Holy shit,” Phillip muttered. 

“Yeah.”

Phillip looked over at Theo. “Are you alright?”

Theo shook her head. “Something feels wrong.”

Georges looked over at her. “What do you mean something feels wrong?”

“I mean something hurts, something…” Theo’s head lolled back, and suddenly, the water in the tub began to turn very very red.


	8. The Archbishop's Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the update that took about a month. College classes started, and I'm also in college now, so it's fucking crazy in my life right now. Anyway, enjoy.

The ambulance ride to the hospital was full of screaming. Theo was in and out of consciousness, but when she was awake, she was in pain. Her baby wouldn’t stop crying either. Phillip held it in his arms, sitting and watching the paramedics work on Theo. Both he and Georges couldn’t think of anything to say. What was there to say?

“Do you know her emergency contact?” A paramedic asked as they wheeled her into the hospital. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I can write it down,” Georges mumbled. 

“Sir.” A paramedic held out their arms to Phillip.

“What?”

“The baby.” The paramedic seemed to not like Phillip very much, but Phillip understood why. “I need to check the baby in. Make sure they’re alright.”

“Oh, alright.” Phillip handed over the child to the paramedic, then followed them into the ER waiting room with Georges.

“I can’t…” Georges shook his head, sitting down. “I can’t believe this happened.

“Wow!” Phillip laughed. “Really? You let our friend give birth in a hotel bathroom! I don’t know why you’re so surprised!”

“Hey, you were there just as much as I was,” Georges stated.

Phillip felt like the world had balanced itself on his chest. “You were the one who told me to trust her! You were the one who said we shouldn’t tell her parents until she was ready! Now, look where we are!”

“Oh, so this is all _my fault_?”

“Not entirely, but more than half of it is, yes!”

“Jesus Christ,” Georges mumbled. “I didn’t think this was going to happen!”

“And that’s on you!” Phillip tugged at his hair. “She was giving birth in a hotel bathroom, what did you think was going to happen?”

“You’re the one who didn’t do anything either! Don’t act like this is all my fault! You’re Mr. High and Mighty because you wanted to tell her parents more than I did? Congrats, Phillip, you still didn’t.”

“Because you told me to trust her and I trusted you!” Phillip sat down and tugged at his hair. “It doesn’t matter. We shouldn’t fight about this now. Nothing is going to change. It’s too late now.”

“Oh, God, you are such a prick.”

Phillip slowly raised his head, looking at Georges. “You are intolerable.”

Georges sat down, leaning back a bit in the hospital chair and looking at the ceiling. “What time do you think her parents are going to get here?”

“Real question is, what time do you think _our_ parents are going to get here?”

“You think our parents are coming too?”

“Dude, our parents are so close they all had kids at the same time.”

“No, they didn’t.”

Phillip chuckled a bit, shaking his head. “Yeah, they didn’t.” He sighed. “I think my dad is going to kill me.”

“God, yeah. I’m gonna say, six months grounded, no car.”

“I don’t even know.” Phillip put his face in his hands. “I hope Theo’s gonna be okay. Oh, God, I hope the baby is going to be okay. What the fuck.”

Georges nodded, swallowing. 

They waited in the waiting room for about twenty minutes, and then Aaron and Dosia came in, looking panicked. They didn’t even register Phillip and Georges, went straight for the front desk, talking to the receptionist. A few moments later, a doctor came out and pulled them into the hallway, and just like that, they were gone.

Phillip pulled out his phone and checked his messages. Alex had texted him. Phillip didn’t even want to look at it, but he did. 

‘I sure hope there wasn’t much truth to what the hospital told Dosia and Aaron. Be there soon.’

Phillip groaned and leaned his head back against the wall. He wondered what the afterlife was like. He was sure he’d find out as soon as his dad laid eyes on him. Maybe his pop would be a bit nicer about it, but maybe not.

Alex and John came in and went straight for Phillip, looking angry. No words were said, but Phillip knew it was time for them to go. He didn’t argue, just left with them. He got into the back of the car and stared out the window, waiting for the yelling, for something. His parents didn’t usually yell at him, they were pretty mature when it came to that stuff, but this…

This was something that blew everything else out of the park.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Alex started, sitting in the passenger's seat. 

Phillip didn’t respond.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” John asked.

“I wanted to tell her parents,” Phillip began.

“But you didn’t.” Alex shook his head. “You didn’t. You didn’t tell her parents, you didn’t tell us, you didn’t tell anyone. Now, Theo is in the hospital. Where is your car?”

“Outside the motel,” Phillip muttered. 

“Alright, John will pick it up tomorrow.” Alex took a deep breath. “I don’t even know what to say. I don’t even know what to say! Phillip, did nothing, _nothing_ tell you that everything that was happening was wrong? Phillip, she was-” He cut himself off, letting out a breath. “She was pregnant. You could’ve… what if that baby had died? That would’ve been on your hands too, Phillip.”

Phillip looked down and didn’t respond.

“When we get home, you’re going to your room. No laptop unless it’s for school for a month. We’re turning off all allowances on your phone except for text and call for two months. You’re grounded for the rest of high school.” Alex shook his head. “I mean, nothing told you to say anything? Wanting to say something is one thing, but you just didn’t! Phillip, we raised you with more common sense than this!”

Phillip was still quiet. 

“Good Christ.” Alex put his face in his hands. “I can’t even talk to you right now. I don’t… I don’t even know what to think.”

Phillip stared out the window.

When they got home, Alex put the parental lock on Phillip’s phone, then took his laptop. Phillip was given food and sent to his room. Since he couldn’t Bluetooth any music, he put on a record and laid back on his bed. He wasn’t hungry, so he’d just let the food sit. 

For most of the night, he laid there, not really thinking about anything. Then, around four am his phone buzzed. For some God forsaken reason, it was Theo. 

‘I need you to pick up something from my house.’

‘Are you okay? What the fuck is going on?’

‘I’m fine, I just need you to go get something at my house. My book. Death Comes for the Archbishop.’

‘Alright. Is everything alright?’

‘It’s fine, please just get there quick.’

Phillip got up and climbed out his window, finding his bike in the backyard and sneaking out of the house before making his way to Theo’s. It was about a ten-minute bike ride, and when he got there, he expected to be in and out, grabbing her book, dropping it off at the hospital, and then going straight back home.

The lights were on when he got there, but he assumed it was just because Aaron and Dosia had left in a hurry.

He assumed wrong though and realized that when he stepped inside and saw Theo shoving food into a backpack, a baby on the couch. 

“Theo, what the fuck are you doing?” Phillip gasped. 

"I'm running away," Theo told Phillip, shoving a few more items into her bag. "I need you to drop me off at the Greyhound bus station."

"Running-" Phillip shook his head. "You just got out of the hospital! You shouldn’t even be here! Where will you go?"

"To New Mexico. I have a friend who lives there, she said I could stay with her. I'll take a train from Philadelphia, then take buses from there."

"New Mexico, Archibishop, God you tricked me! You can't just run away, that won't solve anything," Phillip argued, grabbing her arm. “Also, you need to be in a hospital!”

She ripped herself away from his grasp, turning to him with angry eyes. "Well nothing else I do will solve anything either!" She took a deep breath. "I have to do this. For my mother's sake. And I’m fucking fine."

"Theo, please, I'm begging-"

"I already have living arrangements lined up, I'm going to get my GED and do night school. I'll be fine."

"Theo-"

"Phillip." She pressed her lips together. "I am trusting you not to tell this to anyone. Please. It's what I have to do." She pulled down the hat on her newborn baby a bit, then tapped his nose. "Watch Skyler while I get my clothes. Make sure he doesn't spit up on himself."

“Skyler?”

Theo pressed her lips together. “Yeah, Skyler.”

Phillip nodded, eyes wide.

Theo left, and Phillip looked to the baby. So small, so chubby and sweet. He was a perfect weight, with hair already growing on his head.

Skyler made a small noise, grabbing at nothing. Phillip could hear the anger, the disappointment in his father's voice. How defeated and heartbroken he looked, how angry and untrusting.

Phillip made a decision, one that would change everything.

He took the baby.

He took the baby and ran.


	9. The Glass Castle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol did u think I abandoned this? well, guess what. I did for a little bit. but I'm back.

Riding a bike and carrying a baby was not the easiest thing in the world, but Phillip somehow made it work. He was going as fast as he could while not harming the baby. When he got to his house, he dropped his bike on the sidewalk in front of it and ran inside, breathing heavily. Skylar was starting to fuss, and despite Phillip’s best, yet unbeknownst to him, terrible, efforts, the baby decided it was now time to let out a loud cry.

“Shit, shit,” Phillip muttered. He had planned to wake up his parents in a way less shocking, but he should’ve known, mister I’ve-Had-Anxiety-Since-The-Day-I-Was-Born Hamilton would be up and out of bed the moment he heard the door open.

And he was.

“Phillip Johnathan Laurens-Hamilton, what the fuck-”

“I have a baby!” Phillip yelled before Alex could start his rant.

John, who had followed Alex downstairs, instantly perked up. “You have a what?”

“What the fuck,” Alex gasped. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Phillip clutched Skylar closer to his chest. “Theo texted me and asked me to get a book from her house for her an hour ago so I got on my bike and-”

“You’re grounded, and it’s way past curfew,” John stated. “Why did you do that?”

“She’s in the hospital! I figured I might as well!”

“So you stole the baby from the hospital?” Alex yelled.

“No! I didn’t! When I got to Theo’s house, Theo was there, with the baby, and she had a whole plan to run away to New Mexico and live with a friend and she was packing bags, and I didn’t know what to do, so I took the baby, which was there with her, and I came back here.”

“She’s running away?”

“Well, she’s probably looking for me so she can kill me right now since I did kidnap her child,” Phillip stated.

“Oh, God, oh God,” Alex groaned.

“I know this is bad but-”

“No, you did the right thing, the baby was definitely not safe. Alright, alright, hold on, I need to think. Okay, okay.” Alex took a breath. “John, I need you to take the baby-”

“Skylar.”

“John, I need you to take Skylar. You know how to work with babies.”

“Yeah, yeah.” John took the baby from Phillip’s arms. “I’ll get him some warm milk, I think we still have a bottle from Phillip.”

“Yes, alright.” Alex took a deep breath. “Phillip, you were technically the last person to see Theo, who is now officially a missing person, so you and I are going to go look for her. John, can you call the police, and then Aaron and Dosia? I’ll get Laf and Herc.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem.”

“Phillip, what did she say to you exactly? Any hints about where she was going?”

“She said she was going to a Greyhound bus station,” Phillip recalled.

“The one in Queens or Brooklyn?” John asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t know, she didn’t say.”

Alex took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go. I’ll tell Laf and Herc to go to the Queens, we’ll head to Aaron and Dosia’s house, and John, you tell Aaron and Dosia to head to the Brooklyn station. Phillip, come on, let’s get to the Burr’s house, see if anyone is still there.”

The car ride was quiet and tense. Phillip felt like he was going to throw up. Alex stared straight ahead, not even looking at his son.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“I know you are.” Alex’s voice was cold.

Phillip looked down.

“You did the right thing. It won’t feel like that but know that you did. It doesn’t make up for what has been done, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

Phillip looked out the window and tried to spot anyone in the dark New York night. He was so worried. He felt so conflicted. But mostly, he hoped Theo was alright. Phillip didn’t know what he’d do if something happened to her again.

They started at Theo’s house, searching it from top to bottom. Her bag was gone, and so was she. Phillip felt like he was going to throw up.

“Come on, she couldn’t have gone far,” Alex mumbled as they began walking back to the car.

“What if she’s dead?”

“She has no reason to be dead,” Alex stated quickly. “Don’t talk like that.”

“She was making a lot of bad, rash decisions though.”

“Kids make bad decisions, but they can always be fixed.”

Phillip was quiet, looking out the window for his friend.

“Things are going to be okay,” Alex reassured Phillip. “Theo needs… she needs help right now, and I think she will for a while, but that just means that we can do something for her.”

“She probably hates me.”

“Probably.” Alex looked at Phillip, then back at the road. “She’s probably really mad at you for stealing her baby and telling us that she was running away. But you wanna know something?”

“What?”

“She’s gonna thank you for it one day. After all this has blown over, she’s gonna realize how lucky she was to have you at that moment, how lucky she was to have a friend who cared so much about her, that he’d piss her off and make her hate him just to protect her.”

Phillip looked down. “Then why do I feel like shit?”

“Because.” Alex shrugged. “When you piss off a friend, that’s how it goes.”

Phillip nodded.

“Shit.”

Alex swerved to the side of the road, and Phillip realized why in barely a second. There was Aaron and Dosia’s car, pulled over, and a cop car wasn’t far behind it.

Phillip and Alex rolled out of the car, praying that they weren’t going to see something terrible.

Alex had never believed in a God. He was raised Jewish, but plenty of people were raised with religion. John was raised Catholic, and he was the furthest thing from a Catholic he could be. In fact, Alex flinched at the very mention of religion. But, when he saw Aaron, Dosia, and Theo, crying and holding each other, all physically unscathed, he thanked whatever higher power he could think of.

Phillip leaned against his father, trying not to cry.

There was a long road ahead of all of them, but at least Theo was safe, and they could start to rebuild what they had lost. 


End file.
